Perception, perception. How deceitful you can be. After attending today's lecture, I have a new discovery. That is how human's mind and perception can be very subjective. It's in the human nature to have certain tendencies in percieving things they experience.
When I was in the second year of high school, I had a friend who was a trouble-maker in the class. From all my classmates, he was the one who creates ruckus and talk-back to the teacher the most. He was the most irritating and stubborn person I've ever met in my whole life. Nobody really liked him that time.
But nearing the end of the year, when final exam was just around the corner, he was a totally changed person. He became so quiet and attentive in class, jotting down notes diligently. Later on, I and my friends discovered that his mother was lying in the hospital and her condition was critical. His mother's wish was for him to pass the exam and get into the final year of high school. And that changed how we viewed him as a person. This problem never get to the ear of the teachers because he didn't want everyone in the school to know about his mother's condition. He was so bent on keeping this a secret from the teachers that we couldn't do anything about it, except to comply with his wish. The teachers noticed his changes in behavior but brushed it off as something temporary. They put it off as the threat of failing final exam doing magic on him.
After the final exam was over and the marks had been graded, something bad happened. Apparently, the boy's scores caused an uproar between the teachers. His scores were unexpectedly brilliant but all the teachers couldn't believe that he had gotten those good marks just counting on himself. They suspected him cheated during exam just because he had a bad reputation in class before. He denied those accusations but none of the teachers believed him.
But as his classmates, we knew that he had been working extra hard for this exam and he certainly earned those scores himself. Two weeks before exam, he nearly fainted because he lacked sleep, forcing himself to study throughout the night, and because he had not been eating well for the past weeks, trying to save money for his mother's hospital fee.
We were furious when we found out about the accusation and the teacher's refusal to believe him. But do you know what was his reaction when we wanted to protest to the teachers? He told us to leave it be. He said no matter what we were going to say, the teachers wouldn't believe a word because he really had been a very bad student in the past. He said he didn't mind the accusation, he was used to it. It wrenched our hearts when we heard what he said. He must be feeling very horrible inside but he still flashed us a smile, a weak smile.
Thinking it over again, the teachers' reaction wasn't that unpredictable after all. People tend to judge others before getting to know all the facts. In the communication term, it's called Fundamental Attribution Errors. It is the tendency to judge and assume that the cause for behavior is the person, not the situation. And Persistence of First Impression also comes into play here. Those teachers just couldn't believe the boy's innocence because the memory of his delinquent behavior was already glued like a a scotch tape on their mind. I know it wasn't fair. But we couldn't really blame those teachers for not believing. After all, no one is perfect. Besides, perception is a very tricky thing, isn't it?
Well, are you curious about what happened later on? In the end, we couldn't just stand on the side and do nothing about it. After he went home, the whole class stood up to defend him. We all signed a petition requesting the teachers to listen to our part of the story. The teachers agreed, then we all sit down and talk it over. We told them about his mother's condition and how he had worked really hard in order to fulfill his mother's wish. Then some of our classmates even owned up that they cheated in the exam but they could vouch for him that he did not even look away from his papers during the exam.
After hearing what we have to say, the teachers held a meeting and they decided to believe us. They apologized directly to the boy and even granted him some financial support for his final year. When he knew that we all stood up for him, he was so touched that he hugged each and everyone of us with tears trickling down his face, and kept saying "Thank you" over and over. It was an extremely touching scene to see him like that as he is not someone who expresses his emotion vividly.
Now, his mother had passed away in peace after seeing him graduate from high school with remarkable results. And he moved away to another town right after our graduation party. Wherever you are now, Kenny, kudos to you! Your experience sure has taught me a lot about human's perception and how prejudiced it can be.
When I was in the second year of high school, I had a friend who was a trouble-maker in the class. From all my classmates, he was the one who creates ruckus and talk-back to the teacher the most. He was the most irritating and stubborn person I've ever met in my whole life. Nobody really liked him that time.
But nearing the end of the year, when final exam was just around the corner, he was a totally changed person. He became so quiet and attentive in class, jotting down notes diligently. Later on, I and my friends discovered that his mother was lying in the hospital and her condition was critical. His mother's wish was for him to pass the exam and get into the final year of high school. And that changed how we viewed him as a person. This problem never get to the ear of the teachers because he didn't want everyone in the school to know about his mother's condition. He was so bent on keeping this a secret from the teachers that we couldn't do anything about it, except to comply with his wish. The teachers noticed his changes in behavior but brushed it off as something temporary. They put it off as the threat of failing final exam doing magic on him.
After the final exam was over and the marks had been graded, something bad happened. Apparently, the boy's scores caused an uproar between the teachers. His scores were unexpectedly brilliant but all the teachers couldn't believe that he had gotten those good marks just counting on himself. They suspected him cheated during exam just because he had a bad reputation in class before. He denied those accusations but none of the teachers believed him.
But as his classmates, we knew that he had been working extra hard for this exam and he certainly earned those scores himself. Two weeks before exam, he nearly fainted because he lacked sleep, forcing himself to study throughout the night, and because he had not been eating well for the past weeks, trying to save money for his mother's hospital fee.
We were furious when we found out about the accusation and the teacher's refusal to believe him. But do you know what was his reaction when we wanted to protest to the teachers? He told us to leave it be. He said no matter what we were going to say, the teachers wouldn't believe a word because he really had been a very bad student in the past. He said he didn't mind the accusation, he was used to it. It wrenched our hearts when we heard what he said. He must be feeling very horrible inside but he still flashed us a smile, a weak smile.
Thinking it over again, the teachers' reaction wasn't that unpredictable after all. People tend to judge others before getting to know all the facts. In the communication term, it's called Fundamental Attribution Errors. It is the tendency to judge and assume that the cause for behavior is the person, not the situation. And Persistence of First Impression also comes into play here. Those teachers just couldn't believe the boy's innocence because the memory of his delinquent behavior was already glued like a a scotch tape on their mind. I know it wasn't fair. But we couldn't really blame those teachers for not believing. After all, no one is perfect. Besides, perception is a very tricky thing, isn't it?
Well, are you curious about what happened later on? In the end, we couldn't just stand on the side and do nothing about it. After he went home, the whole class stood up to defend him. We all signed a petition requesting the teachers to listen to our part of the story. The teachers agreed, then we all sit down and talk it over. We told them about his mother's condition and how he had worked really hard in order to fulfill his mother's wish. Then some of our classmates even owned up that they cheated in the exam but they could vouch for him that he did not even look away from his papers during the exam.
After hearing what we have to say, the teachers held a meeting and they decided to believe us. They apologized directly to the boy and even granted him some financial support for his final year. When he knew that we all stood up for him, he was so touched that he hugged each and everyone of us with tears trickling down his face, and kept saying "Thank you" over and over. It was an extremely touching scene to see him like that as he is not someone who expresses his emotion vividly.
Now, his mother had passed away in peace after seeing him graduate from high school with remarkable results. And he moved away to another town right after our graduation party. Wherever you are now, Kenny, kudos to you! Your experience sure has taught me a lot about human's perception and how prejudiced it can be.
4 comments:
Yeah, I guess people tend to have very strong first impressions on people they meet, especially when they act like they had anticipated for a period of time. I think people should be more open to changes and not just stick to their old mindsets, like in the case of your friend. But I'm glad that the matter is settled in the end, as it shows that impressions can really be changed.
persistence of first impression can be so dangerous. no wonder people do so much to make a good impression. it's really sad to hear that teachers( supposedly a noble job) are doubtful when a bad kid turns good. i mean, isnt this what teachers should try to make a difference in?
it took so many people to sign a petition to make teachers realise that they can be wrong in their judgement. but i'm glad that they did settled it fairly.
hmm.. I think that's what people said as the 1st impression is really important in our life. However, there is also another saying that " don't judge the book by its cover". What happen in our life will change our way in leading this life too..
When someone has a sudden change, I guess we can't just make our own conclusion as what we see in the surface. If it is a wrong perception, it will be unfair to the other party. Don't you think so?
Like you mentioned in your post, judging a person is something a human being cannot resist. It's almost like an automatic thing. Your friend's story was really sad, yes. But I'm sure there will be more such stories popping out unless we can morphed our human nature into something better, without prejudice and biased judgment.
Post a Comment